“Don’t touch my junk”


From Charles Krauthammer in Washington Post today: 

…In a stroke, the young man ascended to myth, or at least the next edition of Bartlett’s, warning the agent not to “touch my junk.”

Not quite the 18th-century elegance of “Don’t Tread on Me,” but the age of Twitter has a different cadence from the age of the musket. What the modern battle cry lacks in archaic charm, it makes up for in full-body syllabic punch.

Don’t touch my junk is the anthem of the modern man, the Tea Party patriot, the late-life libertarian, the midterm election voter. Don’t touch my junk, Obamacare – get out of my doctor’s examining room, I’m wearing a paper-thin gown slit down the back. Don’t touch my junk, Google – Street View is cool, but get off my street. Don’t touch my junk, you airport security goon – my package belongs to no one but me, and do you really think I’m a Nigerian nut job preparing for my 72-virgin orgy by blowing my johnson to kingdom come?

Isn’t it amazing what we Americans will tolerate when the methods used are slowly, but are changed over time from a simple idea of security to a pretense of “fighting terror”.  At the airport security gate, we’ve gone from simple electronic scans of luggage to sexual assault in a matter of nine years.

And to what end?  Our Homeland Security and other government-run or regulated organizations refuse to secure our borders and deport those most likely to attempt another act of terror on an domestic airliner.  In addition, they refuse to profile passengers and look more closely at those who fit the target descriptions and actions of those who would commit such acts. So we all endure the veiled suspicion of guilt when travelling through an airport.  Have any 89-year old grannies blew up any buildings lately?   Or how about that 3-year old with the Teddy Bear subjected to a TSA pat down…how many 3-year olds are guilty of terrorist attacks in this country? 

What ever happened to our 4th amendment rights against illegal search and seizure?

Here’s what happened to those rights, for example:

Americans must demand a halt to full body scans and groping at airport security terminals.

Krauthammer again said it best:

The junk man’s revolt marks the point at which a docile public declares that it will tolerate only so much idiocy. Metal detector? Back-of-the-hand pat? Okay. We will swallow hard and pretend airline attackers are randomly distributed in the population.

But now you insist on a full-body scan, a fairly accurate representation of my naked image to be viewed by a total stranger? Or alternatively, the full-body pat-down, which, as the junk man correctly noted, would be sexual assault if performed by anyone else?

This time you have gone too far, Big Bro’. The sleeping giant awakes. Take my shoes, remove my belt, waste my time and try my patience. But don’t touch my junk.

(UPDATE: Thanks for the link from Marathon Pundit.)

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