Political Humor – High in the Air


High In The Air

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

… The man consulted his portable GPS and Replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level.. You are 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.”
She rolled her eyes and said, “You must be a Republican.” I am,” replied the man. “How did you know?” “Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and I’m still lost.. Frankly, you’ve not been much help to me.”
The man smiled and responded, “You must be a Democrat.” “I am,” replied the balloonist. “How did you know?”
“Well,” said the man, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going. You’ve risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect ME to solve your problem. You’re in EXACTLY the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it’s MY fault…
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5 Responses

  1. Oldie but goody!
    Thanks!

  2. A Republican, in a wheelchair, entered a restaurant one afternoon and
    asked the waitress for a cup of coffee.
    The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked,
    “Is that Jesus sitting over there?”
    The waitress nodded “yes,” so the Republican requested that she give
    Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.

    The next patron to come in was a Libertarian, with a hunched back.
    He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, “Is that Jesus, over there?”
    The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, “My treat.”

    The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches.
    He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, “Hey there honey! How’s about gettin’ me a cold mug of Miller Lite?”
    He too looked across the restaurant and asked, “Isn’t that God’s boy over there?

    The waitress nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold beer.
    “On my bill,” he said loudly.

    As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said,
    “For your kindness, you are healed.”
    The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.

    Jesus passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, “For your kindness, you are healed.” The Libertarian felt his back straightening up and he raised his hands, praised the Lord, and did a series of back
    flips out the door.

    Then, Jesus walked towards the Democrat, just smiling.

    The Democrat jumped up and yelled, “Don’t touch me… I’m collecting disability.”

  3. LOL – Have never seen that one! Thanks for sharing!

  4. Brilliant, I will repost it on my blog
    John Wilder

  5. Marriage Coach:

    On the first day of a statistics class the prof gave us some examples of statistics. The second example: men who are married live longer and healthier lives than single men. I was seated in the back and raised my hand. When he acknowledged me, I asked him “do we have to be married to the same woman?” The class exploded in laughter,; it set the pace for the whole semester, and I got an A…

    This has nothing to do with politics though SRT is taking a detour into humor and I;m going to help her.

    Full disclosure: I’ve been happily married for 36 years to the same lovely mother of our 4 daughters.

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